Reflections - The Spirit Carries On

So another week has now passed and get this, it ends on a good note!

I had my meeting with my oncologist yesterday to discuss my CAT scan results. This is the first scan since I went in to remission in February. To say I was a bit nervous would not do 'nervousness' justice. I hadn't slept comfortably in several days. I should have known better than to worry since if the results were not good, I would have gotten a phone call from the doc.

I was not expecting the news I did get though, it was simply earth shattering to me.

I arrived about a 1/2 hour early for the appointment, and ended up sitting there almost an hour and a half after that before finally getting back to the doctor. Talk about punshing ya!!

So first results, I've now ballooned back up to 180 lbs, and for the first time in 2 years my blood pressure was down to 90 after posting between 120-150 prior. So far, all good news!

Then the doc stops in smilin ear to ear. We get the casual greetings out of the way and then the doc say's "Aaron, you are simply an amazing individual. You amaze us more and more every time we see you!" " Your CAT scan was excellent! As a matter of fact, your tumors are all smaller than they were compared to your PET scan from February!"

Wait a minute, the tumors are shrinking without chemo? WOW!!!! Aside from some scar tissues and soreness in my body from where the scar tissues lay, Im fit and healthy! He expects a full recovery!!!!

After this, the doc orders some blood work just to confirm everything, and 15 mins. later he steps in with the results proclaiming, 'Looks like you have 'super blood'!'. In other words, all of my levels are above average! OUTSTANDING!

So, as I got in to the car to drive home, I turned on my CD player in the car as I was listening to a CD of mp3's I had and a song came on from Dream Theater. Yeah, I know, I'm posting a lot about them lately, but stick with me here.

I sat in the car and had a moment to myself listening to the lyrics and reflecting on this experience.

Friends, I was afraid of dying. I felt like I was incomplete and that I still wanted a chance to do something good with my life before I met my maker. I wasn't ready and was afraid of the unknown. I trust in my God and his decision to lead me the path that I walk, but still I had no sense of what my 'mission' was. And with everything that's going on around me now, I can see that a path is being set forth for me to continue my journey. What is that journey? I have no clue, but I'll continue to post the ventures here!

So, back to the song and my reflections............As the song states, 'we're only given one shot!', and it is with that I had my eyes opened wide!

Alexander just turned 2 this week, and we are going to have a very big celebration for him on Sunday, and this my friends is 1 reason I am still here. He needs his dad to show him the rights of this world and to show him how to become a man. Learn about sports, learn about cars...........so he can teach his dad!!! This child helped me stay alive that whole time. With him, the rest of my family (Tiffany and Brooke), I was able to keep up my battle. Their encouragement made me better.

I sat there and I realized that I had been shown so much love and support, and that is what makes us stronger. It's those around us, those who inspire us, those who give us hope! I am compelled to now do the same for others.

I have a whole new outlook on life and I believe that it's time I give back something to those who could really use it.

I've begun, as I've posted here already, to involve myself with cancer support groups starting with Chemlads and I'm Too Young For This. Youre going to be seeing a lot more about both of these organizations here on my site. I encourage you to share this with others who may find the info resourceful and even to help yourself gain knowledge.

Another realization that I have had since this all went down is how 'shallow' of an individual I had been my whole life. I find myself now compelled to make donations when I see a jar on the counter asking for donations for a little boy struggling with cancer, or even clicking on a 'Breast Cancer Awareness' logo. Friends, we need to do what we can to help those suffering thru this.

So, I ask everyone of my friends, or any random person reading this, to stop and think about someone else for a change, and ask yourself, how can I help!?

I'll leave you all with the lyrics the song I caused my reflection..........Read them, take note, and remember after you die 'Your Spirit Carries On' How do you want your spirit to be remembered?


The Spirit Carries On Lyrics (Dream Theater)

11) Scene Eight: The Spirit Carries On (06:38)- John Petrucci

[Present]

[Nicholas:]
Where did we come from?
Why are we here?
Where do we go when we die?
What lies beyond
And what lay before?
Is anything certain in life?

They say, "Life is too short,"
"The here and the now"
And "You're only given one shot
"But could there be more,
Have I lived before,
Or could this be all that we've got?

If I die tomorrow
I'd be all right
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on

I used to be frightened of dying
I used to think death was the end
But that was before
I'm not scared anymore
I know that my soul will transcend

I may never find all the answers
I may never understand why
I may never prove
What I know to be true
But I know that I still have to try

If I die tomorrow
I'd be allright
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on

[Victoria:]
"Move on, be brave
Don't weep at my grave
Because I am no longer here
But please never let
Your memory of me disappear"

[Nicholas:]
Safe in the light that surrounds me
Free of the fear and the pain
My questioning mind
Has helped me to find
The meaning in my life again

Victoria's real
I finally feel
At peace with the girl in my dreams
And now that I'm here
It's perfectly clear
I found out what all of this means
If I die tomorrow
I'd be allright
Because I believe
That after we're gone
The spirit carries on